29 Weeks & Crazy

Warning: This is an emotional post.  I think I am transitioning out of this "Oh shit am I really having a baby?" to "Wow, I'm a mom and I cannot wait to hold my baby boy".  I imagine daily what he will look like, what it will be like bringing him home from the hospital, and what his personality will be like.  He was such a surreal thought up until recently, but now that I can almost pinpoint which of his little body parts is making my belly lopsided or poking me in the rib he is becoming a bigger reality {literally}! 

One of my sweetest and oldest friends Madison {who happens to be getting married the weekend after next AH!} sent me a precious baby gift a few weeks ago and included this book - 

It was a fine and great read, great advice, leisurely, relaxing, good book...until one of the last letters that got serious.  The author wrote "You only hold your one day old baby for one day".  I. Lost. It. I was laying there with Andy passed out next to me and Buddy sleeping at the foot of the bed.  My tummy was out in full force and I just looked around and wanted to freeze frame that moment.  The waterworks started and I suddenly didn't want to "wish" this time away.  I don't want that "one day" with my "one day old baby" to come any faster - not because I am scared of the HUGE change it will bring to my life, not because I'm scared of labor, not because I'm scared if I will be a good mom {even though I am a little frightened of all these things}, but because I do not want that "one day" to be over.

  

Come November, I will have anticipated that day for 9 months, and just like that we will move on to day 2, day 3, first day of kindergarden, etc....everyone says "it goes so fast", "enjoy every minute".  I think I realized the reasoning for that advice after reading that sentence, looking at my third trimester baby bump, and glancing over at my sleeping husband who I have already been married to for 2 years. Time really is fleeting and I don't want to take a single minute of my blessed life for granted. {See I am turning into a mom and having "mom feelings"}     

So thanks for the read Madi, it literally sent me into an emotional tailspin that only got worse...

I saw this commercial this morning and ended up salting my breakfast cereal with tears. Even though I have accidentally watched it 7 times trying to figure out how to get it posted on this damn blog, I still am getting a little teary eyed each time it plays.  I cannot wait for the day that he "becomes mine and I become his" and he "holds my hand back".  I don't think anyone can understand the love a mother has for their child until you experience it, and I haven't even held my baby yet! 

Being emotional and sentimental is nothing new for me - If you ask my girlfriends from nursing school  about my drunken professions of love for our friendships after long nights out they probably still have a few of those embarrassing videos of me crying and telling them how much I love them and they are "my best friends ever" & rambling on.  Right Laurie, April, Aub, Holly? Andy can probably attest to this as well.   I just think pregnancy has potentiated this personality trait, and by potentiated I mean I am now borderline psychotic! 

Thats all for now, I am going to try and hold it together for the rest of the day and do something productive like paint my nails - just my fingernails though, I can't reach my toenails anymore. 

-AlyNav